Now, this has probably been mentioned a hundred thousand times but I keep thinking about doing this post and never do it. Here goes (with thanks to @drewsonix for reminding me about the song)
I think the Alanis Morrissette song “Ironic” is a very good song. But I thought it would be useful to go through the song and check the irony she purports to sing about. Being British, and understanding irony.
“An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day”
OK. Just unlucky. Sorry about that, old man. You won the lottery and died. Hard cheese. Irony score: 0.
“It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay”
Again, not ironic – merely inconvenient and a bit urgh. Irony score: 0.
“It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late”
Crikes. You died, got pardoned afterwards. That’s worse than the guy dying after winning the lottery. But, still, just unlucky. Irony score: 0.
“Isn’t it ironic … don’t you think”
So far, Alanis, not convinced. Subtotal irony score: 0
“It’s like rain on your wedding day”
I had rain on my wedding day. It was a bit inconvenient and the guests had to drink alcohol inside the marquee rather than outside on the lawn but I didn’t feel the irony. Irony score: 0.
“It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid”
Oooh… this could be ironic if you realised after you’d paid that you had the free ride ticket in your pocket all along. But if the free ride was given to you after you paid & rode on the ride, then no – just unlucky. And I think, actually Alanis, you meant the latter here – so, sorry – Irony score: 0.
“It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take”
Just plain stupid. If you knew it was good advice and you didn’t take it, then you’re just stupid. But if you didn’t know it was good advice until after you didn’t do whatever it was, then it has the small potential to be ironic – but that’s academic because you didn’t take the advice so have no way of knowing whether it would have been good or bad. So – on balance, irony score: 0.
“Who would’ve thought … it figures”
I know, Alanis. Shocking.
“Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
‘Well isn’t this nice…’
And isn’t it ironic … don’t you think”
No, again, just plain, hugely unlucky. A real bummer. Afraid to fly but the first plane he takes crashes and he dies. Crikey. What amazing bad luck. But – Irony Score: 0
“It’s a traffic jam when you’re already late”
Unlucky. Irony score: 0.
“It’s a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break”
Move elsewhere. Inconvenience. Irony score: 0.
“It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife”
Inconvenient. And a very full cutlery drawer. Irony score: 0
“It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife”
Unlucky. He married that lovely lady. But I’m sure there’ll be others. Irony score: 0.
“And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think”
OK, Alanis, your scores on the doors are - Total Irony Score: 0.
Interestingly, in the acoustic version of this song on the 10-year anniversary album, the lyrics of the “man of my dreams” bit are changed to:
“It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful husband”
Which is about as close to irony as the song gets ever.
Americans – know your place. You don’t know irony, and probably never will. But you do have good teeth. And the worst diet on the planet. Which is ironic.
Filed under: random
